Scapegoat.


Ask my name, if you must. It's Merina and I taste like sunshine dust.

Goodnight,

I’ve had enough.

Who?

So it comes down to this

brute experiences at its best

I want to learn, run, and jump

Spin around, do a little dance, and get down tonight

I want to live a life where i learn and seek out to learn

I’ll find teachers of professions that will get me no where in life but will give me knowledge of things i don’t know

My brain hurts

too much blockage

Its clogged up and the plumber’s crack killed it

So what does one do now?

I sit and wait while i run away

Run away to find a way, away from all of this

and this is what its about

a blissful escape from it all or a head first collision with her fears

my mind plays tricks on me

until i take the time to write them down

blah this, blah that

All i have to say is blah, blah, blah

My writing doesn’t even make sense anymore

and if that doesn’t then what will

what will save me to face reality?

Journals are never finished, always lost and abandoned

I throw away my past under my bed in hopes that i will become a better person

A fake person, ashamed of who she was and what she has become

She has become the person she never wanted to be

So deceitful, she sometimes fools herself

Fools herself into thinking that she is who people see her as

is it possible to create a life that isn’t really mine

i built walls up to protect myself

but it appears as though those walls that once helped me now hurt me

Everything is blocked out

and if everything is blocked out then who will be able to reach me

to touch me

to heal me

who?

I need a bed

and someone to be in it with..

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